#Bible gates free
#Bible gates windows

He is an Evil, Evil man and just because he is the new God on the block, doesn’t mean we have to like him. One woman who would prefer to remain nameless said “All us Catholics think he (Bill Gates) is the Devil. Gate’s latest acquisition has meet with some opposition. Gates replied simply “I could buy your soul.” That was the last question asked.

Towards the end of the press conference Gates was asked if he intends to purchase other “out-dated and boring” religious texts.

#Bible gates windows

Anyway, ‘For Bill Gates so loved the world that he gave his only son, Windows 2000, so that everyone who believes in Bill Gates may not perish but may have eternal life and quality Microsoft products every three to five years.’ See, isn’t that much better?” Gates said. Hey in the second that it took me to read that first part, I made a hundred thousand dollars, how ‘bout that. Hey I may be filthy stinking rich, but Bill Gates is no dummy. ‘For Ga…,’ you all thought I was gonna say didn’t you.

#Bible gates free

Hey, you all know it, feel free to read along. “I’d like to take a moment and read to you a passage from my new and improved Bible. Some other notable alterations include the Holy Trinity will be changed to Bill Gates, Microsoft and Windows 2000 Satan will be replaced with Sun Microsystems and that whole “silly” thing about greed being a deadly sin, will be omitted. One of the most noticeable changes will be the substitution of “Bill Gates” for wherever “God” or “Jesus Christ” is mentioned. Ha!” Gates said.ĭuring the press conference Gates outlined his plans for his new and improved Bible. So the very next day I got up after having a quickie with me wife, who says I drive her wild with passion, and bought God. Yeah, these things are all great, but there is one more thing I still haven’t been able to get my filthy rich, dirty little paws on Omnipotent and universal power. Nice houses, fast cars, a great family, a wife who says I am an animal in the sack. “Over a month ago I was sitting in my bedroom next to my extremely beautiful wife, whom I have sex with all the time, and I began thinking to myself, ‘Wow, I have everything a man could ever want. He told Queen Esther, who in turn told the king (Esther 2:5-8, 19-23).SEATTLE, WA – At a press conference earlier this week Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft and worlds most wealthy human, announced that he has acquired the publishing rights for the worlds all time best-selling book the Bible. 18:1-5 19:1-8).- Mordecai learned of plans to assassinate the king while 'sitting at the king's gate,' which indicates that he was a community leader. After Absalom's death, David returned to his place at the gate, and the people came to him (Sam. 4:10-18).- King David stood by the gate when giving last minute instructions to his army, before their fight against Absalom. When he heard the news, he fell off his chair, broke his neck, and died (1 Sam. 21:18-21).- Boaz went to the town gate to settle legal matters regarding his marriage to Ruth (Ruth 4:1-11).- When a soldier arrived at Shiloh and reported that Philistines had captured the ark of the covenant, Eli, as a prominent city official, was sitting in the gate. And because the gate was at the center of city life, word of what happened would spread quickly and the people of Israel would be less likely to do evil (Deut. The males of that city would stone him to death. 19:1, 9).- Parents of a rebellious son who wouldn't submit to their discipline were told to take him to the city gate and present him to the elders there. When God's angels arrived in Sodom, Lot was 'sitting in the gateway,' apparently serving as an influential judge in that evil city (Gen. City Gates in the Bible Since gates were the center of city life, it is not surprising that scripture writers often described important officials as 'sitting in the gate.' Understanding the important role of city gates brings new light to many biblical stories: